goodladnicelittlebody:

most parents will sit down with scrapbooks to share with their kids how they met—to share the milestones of their relationship—but all harryandlouis will need to do is roll up their sleeves 


jaclcfrost:

don’t underestimate me. i’ll wear sweaters in the summer. i’ll eat like eighteen gallons of ice cream in the winter. fuck the temperature. i don’t give a fuck


cooldudebro:

hbunot:

how would you even start sex like kiss kiss oh ok look im inside you

i worry about some of you


+

x
sofapizza:

tastefullyoffensive:

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happy meals. -marantos

when the liberty bell calls, taco bell answers.
how to make a sandwich

furr:

  1. smash your hip against the counter while entering the kitchen
  2. cry and give up

branstarhk:

[anxiously hopes u consider me a friend]

simplypurkey:

jazzumon:

destielkills:

auntiesnixshipper:

awkwardteenagenerves:

discard-and-discover:

evolve-within:

disregardwomen:

When my mom’s out in public, she sends me pictures of lesbians she sees.

Jesus I envy that relationship. 

this is like the time when my mum took me bra shopping and the girl measuring me up was a lesbian and my mum said to me “i’ll go take a walk around the shop so you can talk to this nice young girl” and gave me a look as if to say “chat her up”. 

My mum tries to push me towards cute possibly gay girls and then disappears. She did it in Primark once and I found her hiding behind a pile of knickers, watching me.

i love all of your moms

When I was 17 I was convinced I was in love with the check out girl at the grocery store 5 minutes away from our house, so my dad went to get milk and somehow found an appropriate point in the conversation while buying a half gallon of milk to give her my number. Three days later she called me and asked if I wanted to come over “to watch a movie” and long story short my dad got me laid thanks dad.


That last story is worth reblogging

rj4gui4r:

ridiculoser:

ridiculoser:

lol I changed what gay autocorrects to in my friends phone so he’ll stop using it as a derogatory term.

so i texted him pretending i was coming out of the closet and this is fantastic


Ah, “straight” guys…
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